Monday 14 April 2014

Rumor Roundup: Fourth-power stupid



iWatch cost could be subsidized by health insurers, analyst suggests (9to5 Mac)


According to some analyst:


"We continue to believe it is possible the product (iWatch) is backstopped by some sort of insurance subsidization model similar to the carrier subsidization model for iPhone."


Meanwhile, I continue to believe that the random musings of some analyst are in no way newsworthy and don't deserve even one percent of the attention the rumor blogs devote to them. I'm running out of ways to say this, but here goes: analysts don't know what they're talking about when they talk about Apple.


Dubious iPhone 6 cases already rolling in (9to5 Mac)


From the article: "We can't see any reason to believe this is anything more than the usual attempts by case companies to guess what Apple plans to launch."


Meanwhile, I can't see any reason why you bothered to reblog this if it was so "dubious" in the first place. You do realize it's perfectly okay not to pass on every stupid rumor that dribbles out of the internet's sewers, right? (Here comes the part where someone tries to point out the irony of me writing about rumors twice a week - except in my eyes, all rumors are created equal. They're all stupid. The only thing that changes is the exponent attached to the stupid. This? This rumor is fourth-power stupid.)


Next-gen faster Haswells chips out as soon as next month, could find their way into upgraded MacBook and iMacs (9to5 Mac)


This rumor, unlike most of what's written about Apple these days, is just bland enough to be true.


Apple unlikely to utilize custom iPhone baseband chip until 2015 at earliest, JP Morgan says (AppleInsider)


Because this story is sourced from some analyst, I fully expect Apple-built baseband chips to show up in the iPhone 6 in September.


Redesigned iPhone 6 seemingly revealed by third-party case maker (BGR)


This is a design sketch based on a case-maker's total guess of what the next iPhone will look like. In other words, it's no better than the hundreds of "concepts" out there put together by bored, underemployed graphic designers.


The iWatch will apparently be another big-margin win for Apple (BGR)


Some analyst in China makes a totally wild-ass guess about how much it will cost to produce an iWatch. He has no evidence to support his claim whatsoever, and his speculation is targeted toward a product that - it must be emphasised - has never been proven to actually exist. But BGR dutifully reblogged this nonsense anyway, because "analyst" showed up somewhere in the piece, and that's apparently the trigger word that turns rumor bloggers' brains to custard.


High Definition iTunes Music Downloads May Be on the Horizon (MacRumors)


Some music blogger citing "an unspecified source" is apparently more than enough to warrant producing a story like this. You guys really are desperate for news, aren't you?


Latest unverified photos from Weibo claim to show iPhone 6 schematics, production tools (9to5 Mac)


Buried nearly at the end of this article: "As with most leaks, it's best to remember that these may or may not be the real thing, and the users who posted these photos haven't been proven to be connected to Foxconn at all, or have they previously leaked anything."


So, these could be two random guys in China totally making crap up, but it doesn't matter at all, because they claimed these were pictures related to the next-gen iPhone. It's so refreshing to see this degree of journalistic integrity alive and wel--PAGEVIEW MONSTER NEEDS PAGEVIEWS OM NOM NOM NOM NOM





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